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Active Listening for Relationships

Writer's picture: Jennifer SharplesJennifer Sharples

Listening deeply is one of the most profoundly satisfying experiencing both to listen and to be listened to. In relationships this is one of the most important skills you can bring to any relationship to better understand one another, to better get along, and to better problem solve and resolve conflict. There are several steps to active listening exercises. The first person will use an "I" statement to identify that what is about to follow is personal to them. They will then identify an emotion that they are having such as "I feel frustrated..." or "I feel secure..." followed by a behavior that the other person has engaged in. So, you might say "I feel frustrated when you don't take out the trash." Then the other person listens and repeats back in their own words what they understood the first person to have said. Finally the first person listens and will acknowledge whether or not this is what they intended to say and whether or not the second person understood them. Taking turns going back and forth with this exercise is a good way of developing your listening and understanding skills.

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Copyright 2023 Jennifer Sharples, Psy.D.

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